To Whom It May Concern...

it's 5 am and i'm wide awake. so i decided to write a letter...

Dear Matthew Wesley White,

Today is our three month anniversary. And right now I feel the need to write you a letter to tell you all the amazing things you have already put into motion in these past three months.

Firstly, you have made the stress of my life so much more bearable. Before you I was on my own in dealing with this stress. Yes I had my friends and I had my mom, but when you don’t want to add more stress to them who do you turn to? You have become my confidant, my best friend, the one person I know I can turn to no matter what the situation. Gomi’s chemo has been really hard on our family, and despite what you may think you really have brightened out home.

Before you, Gomi used to sit in her room and cry because she was so depressed. Mom was still so depressed from the divorce she would come home and do the same. Which left me to doing pretty much the same thing as well. We all would just stay in our prospective rooms and watch TV. Then you bounced into our world and turned it upside down for the better. You sauntered into Gomi’s room and made her smile. You sang to her and mom and made them laugh. YOU brought laughter back into this house that have been so dark and gloomy previously. No one has been able to do that. You made our whole house open up day by day until we just couldn’t imagine how we ever got by without you.

You healed our hearts. There’s no other word for it. You HEALED us. And we are forever grateful.

Not only have you helped with the stress but you also taught me what real love means. The bible has many verses about love. It says love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. you have proven that all of these are true.

You are always patient with me, even when I know you just want to tell me to chill out and shut up and leave you alone. You are always kind to me and you really do have the kindest heart I have ever had the honor to share mine with. Even though you do get jealous sometimes you are never so jealous that you become rude or controlling, and like I’ve said a little jealousy always makes a person feel wanted. You do not envy, or boast. You are a proud person but proud of the things you should be; like of your family and friends, of your accomplishments. You are proud of me and that just blows my mind. You are never self seeking if anything you’re selfless. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you angry, though I have seen you upset, and even when I upset you, you always forgive me right away. You never hold a grudge and you have a truly genuine heart. I know that from now on till the day I die you will protect, trust and hope in me. You will do anything in your power to keep me safe and happy. And I hope you know I would do the absolute same.

I know that I pester you about certain things and I tend to nag. And I shouldn’t do that. I will make my utmost effort to no longer harass you about things of that nature. I don’t deserve you, and I don’t deserve your effortlessly given forgiveness. Its almost like I’ve already been absolved for anything I could possibly ever do. And I really don’t deserve that. You have such an amazing heart and soul. I believe, beyond all doubt, that you are my soul mate, my kindred spirit, my heart’s desire, my one true love, the man I’m going to marry.

In the past three months you have shown me how to live again. You make me smile so easily, and laugh so effortlessly its like you have a window to my soul and can read me like a book. You have the key to my heart. I believe you always have. It just took us both some time and some trials to figure it out. I love you so very much and I can’t imagine a life without you. So thank you for the most amazing three months of my life and I can’t wait to spend the rest of many months with you and your wonderful family and mine.

Eternally, lovingly, and irrevocably yours,

Caley Mischelle Cook

“Baby Boo”